Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
