when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
