I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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