i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
