remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i drank out of a bidet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
