Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
