pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize