We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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