She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
