sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
