I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
