I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize