We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
