any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just want nice things and good sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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