those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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