I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
