i barfeds in our rink
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
