And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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