I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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