A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
