Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
