somebody snuck up and got me drunk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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