I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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