when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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