she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
