walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We need to get me chipped asap
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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