okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
