FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
