I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
