I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
