So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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