i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My vagina just recognized that song.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
