He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
