You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
