..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
