I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
