we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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