that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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