careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
