So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
