I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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