Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
