You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
