Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
