All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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