Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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