i just had sex bonerless
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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