So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
