where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
