I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
