I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
