pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
