this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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